Trying Not To Be A “Plank-eyed Saint”

7 May 13

I have a great testimony. When I finally get around to posting it, you’re gonna love it. Even better, my testimony and Cristy’s testimony are woven together in a way that has led us to faithfully and obediently work to help others rebuild their relationships with their spouses, and strengthen others walk with the Lord. Some of you have heard our testimonies; others have heard parts of it.

Almost a year ago, I was cut off of disability. This was unexpected, because my health problems are pretty darn serious, and that was reflected in the speed in which the Social Security Admin approved my enrollment in their program. But even though it was unexpected, that was okay. I had made a pretty good living prior to having to go on the program, I had no doubts that I could quickly land another IT job and was actually kind of looking forward to it.

A few months prior to this, Cristy and I had prayed about whether she should leave her job to start her own business. We seemed to get an answer that confirmed she should, so she started up Three Cords Design. Customers came in and it seemed like the client base was building pretty quickly.

Fast-forward to today. I still have not found an IT job. Despite getting my resume out there, and some great interviews, and some great follow-up interviews, something is wrong. Once the reference checks start, for some reason the call backs stop. Occasionally I get a rejection notice, usually it says something about my “not meeting their needs at the time”, even though when we were talking face to face, they were pretty stinking confident that I could meet their needs.

So for the time being, I am an installer of office furniture. This is actually a pretty fun job. My boss is a great guy, and my co-worker is a blast to work with. We work great together and we have fun doing it. The pay isn’t too bad either. As a matter of fact, the only problem with this job is that it is not consistent. The first contract I worked on was steady for a few months. But once that contract was done, it became a week or so of work, followed by one, two or even three weeks of nothing. There are contracts out there, but the scheduling sucks.

So now I also do side work as needed for another great boss. This guy is a friend, a fellow believer, and does everything he can to help others. This job helps.

We thought we were led to do the Three Cords thing to have the flexibility to run the marriage ministry we were called to. This included seminars, mentoring other couples, starting up and leading a Men’s and a Women’s Bible study, as well as helping out other ministries where ever we could. I took out some student loans and started working on getting my degree in Christian Counseling and becoming an ordained Pastor in the Nazarene Church. In this time we’ve also led a workshop at the District event Improve Your Serve, and we’ve been facilitators at the Warrior Weekend Retreat to help married military couples suffering the effects of Post Traumatic Stress.

All this time, we’ve been walking in Faith. I knew in my heart that God would provide. I still believe that, but right now it’s coming down to the wire, and even though I know He can overcome anything, I have a responsibility to take a hard look at what our options are. We are very close to having to make some seriously difficult decisions. I know that He will meet our needs, but the unknown is pretty scary. Especially when you have four children depending on you, trusting that you will take care of them. Lord forgive me, but I am deep in the sin of worry right now. And yes, I know that worry IS a sin. It shows lack of Faith.

 James 1:2-8

New International Version (NIV)

Trials and Temptations

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

I am trying very hard to not be double-minded and to honor the Lord. Cristy and my testimonies, as well as those of my shield brothers should be enough to shore up my battered and tattered walls. But still, I am struggling. I humbly ask for prayer from any that might read this. I am not giving up on God. I know what He can do, I have seen His miracles in my life and in others. The prayer that I ask for is that we will remember His promises to us that He will meet our needs.

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