2 December 13
Do you know what my wife did to me last night?? That… that… WOMAN! There I was, minding my own business, stuck in my own head, stewing over feeling sick and struggling with being behind in school and everything else that is going on. Normal man stuff, ya know? Perfectly normal, worldly stuff.
So she comes in and sits on the bed and tells me about a conversation that she had earlier with the daughter that I had recently finished blessing out. For her own good, of course. I let her have a dose of my righteous wrath, pointing out some things that she needed to work on. For her own good, of course. But (and this is key, here) their conversation took place before my blessing her out. So then I realized that I had gone and made things twenty times worse, but it was for her own good, right? THEN, after I realized that I had made things worse (reacting EXACTLY as predicted in the aforementioned conversation btw), I got mad at that… that… WOMAN for not telling me about the conversation they had had before my blessing out the daughter (did I mention that it was for her own good?).
Never mind the fact that the reason she had not told me was because I was deeply involved in trying to get caught up on some school work and she had handled the situation already. So I felt like a complete butt. A terminal case of Cranial-Rectal Inversion (CRI) ensued, and I stated that I was going to sleep, and I rolled over and stared at the wall.
Then, that… that… WOMAN (who was seething mad at me for my obstinance btw), do you KNOW what SHE DID??? She was supposed to bless ME out for my thick-headed behavior and attitude. We had all the makings of a GREAT fight, and I was SO READY! So do you wanna know what that WOMAN did? That… that… WOMAN, with all that she wanted to say, with all her frustration and righteous wrath and hurt and… love and grace and compassion and the Holy Spirit inside of her, walked away. And left me full of resentment and anger and the knowledge that as usual I had screwed it up. I. I. I. DAGNABIT!!!
Every time I do something, I screw it up. So in the dark and quiet, I prayed. For forgiveness. For guidance. For strength to be obedient to whatever the Spirit would guide me to do. A few minutes later, I got out of bed, and went upstairs to the daughter to make things right. We talked, she cried, I cried, we talked some more, I cried some more. We laughed. We reconnected. The Spirit healed what I had cracked.
That woman, my wife, didn’t need to tell me what I had done wrong. I knew. She knew I knew. She trusted the Spirit to work on me.
What would I do without that… that… beautiful, loving, tender WIFE that God has seen fit to grace me with?
I know that I am going to mess up most times I attempt anything by my own strength. I am not strong enough, and the enemy is actively seeking the downfall of every single one of us. But when I seek His counsel and LISTEN, He will guide. But I have to be ready to act.