My husband and I met Scott and Cristy through Pastor Steve at Grace Church of the Nazarene. He thought they would be the best fit to be our mentor couple since our stories were similar. There had been some issues of infidelity and we were struggling to work through them on our own. We started meeting with them in May 2012, which happened to be right after I had found out that my husband had an account on a dating site. Immediately after I found that out I had someone to contact. I remember breaking down on the phone with her and being able to share everything that I was feeling. She listened, helped open my eyes to see different perspectives on things, gave advice and would always pray for me before we got off the phone. She and Scott continued to mentor us through one of the most difficult times in our marriage.
In February 2013, they met with us at the church, where my husband finally admitted that he had cheated on me. After he confessed we were in the process of rebuilding our marriage with their help. Cristy would always advise me to pray for the truth to come out and that I would know in my heart once it was all out. I remember that I did not feel this way in February. Then in March I received text messages from the other woman showing conversations between her and my husband. Again I was devastated, but I still had someone to talk to and share my feelings with. I always felt that Cristy understood me and cared for me. We discussed separation and how it would be best for me to have time to think and talk with God about his path for me.
At the same time Cristy was reaching out to me, Scott would reach out to my husband. He would check on him and they would have conversations about how the whole truth needed to come out in order for our marriage to heal. And finally the whole truth ended up coming out in a letter written to me on Good Friday. After reading the letter I felt God telling me that this was everything and it was all out in the open. We continued to meet with Cristy and Scott through December 2013 on the process of reconciliation and the rebuilding our marriage. Also when my husband decided to get baptized in August of 2013, Scott was there to help baptize.
We still meet with Cristy and Scott occasionally, but we don’t have to meet for the same reasons. We now meet up because we have a true friendship. These people have had such an impact on our lives. They have helped us both grow in our relationships with God and reminded to keep our marriage on a firm foundation. We have attended their Sunday school class since the summer of 2012 and have been to their Reclaiming Dreams seminar. I believe that God placed them in my life for a reason. If we hadn’t have had their support through this difficult time, I do not think we would’ve stayed married. This May we will have been married 5 years thanks to the grace of God and his redeeming work in our lives. I will forever be thankful for their impact in my life as mentors and now as friends.Married 6 Years
I thank the Lord everyday for finding the courage to ask for help. My marriage was falling apart because of the lack of communication and emotion; we gave up on each other… The first phone call to Cristy I will never forget. Immediately she showed me grace and comfort, for once I did not feel alone. Cristy encouraged me to go to Church as a family. We have been attending for a year now.
My husband and I have been married for 8 years and it is stronger than it has ever been. Our marriage was restored and as a couple we are closer to each other and most importantly to God. Having Cristy and Scott as our marriage pastor is a blessing. I have learned to put my trust in God through Cristy and Scott’s guidance. The endless amount of support and love they have given to me, I will forever be humbled.
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. ~ Ephesians 4:1-3, NIV
This verse is what my husband and I live by; to be patient and gentle and most importantly bear one another in LOVE.Married 7 Years
In Feb we became pregnant with our 4th child and I figured that was going to be the thing that solidified us as a couple or I could use it as a reason to leave him for good. I grew further and further away from my husband during the following 6 months. I would text Cristy at all hours, complaining about him and our life, saying nothing was working, I was done with it all. She would not only answer me every time, but it was always with scripture and prayer for us and our situation. She told me that she prayed for us all the time, she would randomly let me know she was thinking about us, and Scott was in steady contact with my husband as well. They contacted us to set up counseling times, checked on us to see how we were doing with everything, and even answered my desperate text in the middle of their vacation.
In Sept of that year tragedy struck and our daughter was stillborn at 7 months. I can look back and know that we were covered in prayer not only by our good friends but by this couple that had done spiritual battle for us for the last year, even though we “barely knew them.” They came to the funeral, grieved with us, and came to our house to counsel us when we couldn’t find a way to meet them elsewhere.
The love and support of this couple in our lives has literally been a marriage saver and life enhancer. God has put such an amazing heart in them to not only help people on a relational level but on a spiritual level as well. Every session was opened in prayer, led by the Lord, and closed in prayer. I NEVER felt judged or condescended, even though I acted like a child at times. There isn’t anyone that I would prefer talking to about my problems or asking advice from than these two. They are infused with the Spirit and share it with everyone they counsel.Married 1 Year
I grew up in Detroit Michigan with hard working parents and one older brother and one older sister. Being the youngest and the unwanted child to my mother, it started by always and consistently being told I was never good enough, unwanted and unloved which I believe is where I started to become physically violent. I couldn’t hit her or my father or siblings so I became physical with any girl or boy I could to take my misery out on somebody. As I got older the physical violence also led to drinking in high school and led to heavy drinking in college. After that I got married the first time which was very tumultuous and had my daughter. That marriage ended due to me being angry all the time, drinking often and cheating non stop. As the years went by I continued my horrible behavior and in that midst met my husband I am married to now. Being married to him moving all over the country due to his military career and me not having my daughter due to my drinking and anger issues. I turned to drugs, I had done drugs in the past mostly cocaine but was able to walk away from it. Well, not anymore it was massive amounts of pain pills up 20 in an 16 hour period of time and that was everyday. It had started to cause an obvious rift in my marriage. I doctor shopped, ER hopped etc… and was never sober which meant my husband having to leave work to take me to doctors and emergency rooms or wherever I needed to go. It ultimately ended up in a few overdoses he had to take me to the hospital for which is the point i believe he really began resenting and regretting me. There was nothing but hate all the time between both of us. I turned back to the cocaine to fill the voids of where I couldn’t get the pain pills anymore by being basically black listed from local hospitals in our area. That habit was obviously no better than the other but I just knew I couldn’t survive without some sort of substance to make me happy i.e…alcohol, uppers, downers anything i could get my hands on. I finally went to rehab for 28 days realizing if i didn’t change i would never see my daughter again, be divorced, or ultimately im the end wind up dead. I had realized all (and i mean all as in alot) of my problems were never going to go away until i dealt truly with my demons, SOBER!! I had finally after years done away with the pills and the cocaine. Then eventually the tide seemed to turn and i was getting better my husband was getting worse. Which had rehashed the physical violence and the drinking. After his deep hatred for me and his behaviors and mine we finally had a wonderful friend he works with intervene and take us to church with him one Sunday and to Scott and Cristy. Its been 10 months since we have been introduced to them and its still a growth process everyday. We are not nor ever will be perfect but with Scott and Cristy’s help bringing us towards Christ we now pray together, realize when things are tough get into the Word together and how to love each other the way God intends. Seeing things through a different perspective and by perspective I mean walking with Christ. Has brought Jason and me to a stronger and much more loving point in our marriage. For the first time on 7 years i finally realized I’am truly and completely in love with Jason! As I said earlier there are struggles and arguments and always will be but for me to learn how to deal with it now sober and not with violence is an amazing feeling!! Now it is dealt with patience’s, understanding, forgiveness and love. I firmly believe the Lord has worked through Scott and Cristy to save mine and Jasons marriage His acts of love, grace and mercy were showed to us completely through them. I firmly believe in divine providence now not “fate”. And for all they have done I will be forever grateful and thankful that God chose them to this calling!!Married 5 Years
In August 2014, my husband and I seperated. Our marriage was full of pain and hurt but we still loved each other just unsure of how to rebuild our relationship. In my uncertainty of how to fix my marriage, I made the decision to separate from my husband for I was tired of being unhappy. My husband made the decision to move back to Clarksville while I remained in another state with our children. One weekend when exchanging our children for the weekend they brought a bulletin home from Grace Church of the Nazarene, I glance through it and noticed one of there upcoming events was a one-day marriage seminar. At that point in our separation I felt that we both wanted to stay together but we didn’t know how to rebuild our marriage. Attending the seminar and going over our wedding vows in detail helped give us the tools to rebuild our marriage. The seminar gave us hope that we could make it and grow stronger in our marriage.Married 10 Years