25 June 13
So much for my commitment to post here every day. All I can say is that I have been working like a madman to get my first project as Lead done correctly and on schedule. I have been driving my team to Glasgow, Kentucky and back every day for work, averaging four hours drive time, along with monitoring deliveries of furniture, staging and setting up said furniture, and making notes of any damage to the furniture. I have been working 70 to 80 hours per week for the past three weeks, and by the time I get home, I don’t have two coherent thoughts to rub together, let alone put down on the blog for anyone’s edification. But that project is now done, other than some minor corrective work and the occasional delivery of furniture that was not ready at the time of shipment.
So, let’s talk about the Grace of God for a bit. Is there anyone out there that can honestly say that they deserve anything that the Lord our God has done for them? Blessings, mercies, forgiveness? Anyone? Anyone at all?
You in the back. Yes, you super-Christian. I see you waving with one hand while patting yourself on the back with the other. Guess what? You don’t deserve it either. None of us do. That is why Jesus had to come and die a horrible death on the cross. It is because of the fact that not one of us is worthy, that all of us have sinned in His eyes, whether through word, thought or deed, that makes His grace such a glorious gift. He loves us in spite of ourselves. As long as we honestly repent He forgives us. And He does so the moment we ask His forgiveness.
People, on the other hand, take a bit longer. Some say they forgive, but they don’t. Fewer actually do forgive, though sometimes that can take years. A very few realize that they are the undeserved recipients of His grace and forgiveness and are able to be led by Him to extend that kind of grace to others. My wife is one of those exceedingly rare and precious few. I will be the first to admit that I do not deserve her forgiveness. Even the Bible states that she could have divorced me for my sins.
Seeing other peoples reactions upon learning how closely she walks with Abba God is funny sometimes, not so much other times.
Some people express admiration that she could forgive seventy times seven times. Some people though, take issue with it. They become angry. I am not sure if they are jealous of her because she is a living, breathing example of what a close relationship with Jesus should look like, or if her example serves to shine a spot light on their own shortcomings in this area. Whatever the causes, all of them start off pretty much the same way, “I love you, but…”
Stop. Right. There. As soon as you insert that last word, it negates the ones that go before it. Period. You can tell us all day long how much you love us, but if that were true, you would be happy for us and not be trying to tear us apart. At least those who immediately vanished from our lives had the honesty to say with their actions, “I can’t deal with this and I refuse to be a part of it.”
As the recipient of her forgiveness, there are those who might respond, “Well duh, of course YOU are going to be on the bandwagon, YOU’RE the one benefiting from her forgiveness!” I can respond to that though. What is your deep and honest reaction to a pure gift of exquisite beauty, given with no thought of receiving anything in return? A present of such unsurpassed love and rare grace that it takes your breath away even years later? I wake up every day to a gift like that. One that was bequeathed on me after I had spat in the face of the giver for years. That gift not only has made me happy, it has led me to devote my life to serving others by honestly and openly sharing my story of what a selfish, self-centered and small man I was and how through His power and grace, I found out how to live my life in such a way that I never expected, that I never believed was possible. A life where all I want to do every day is prove myself worthy of the gift I was given, even though I know I will never be able to live up to that, but to continue trying anyway.
Those that can find hope and love in our story, I love you and I am here for you. Whether you need prayer, or advice, or anything I can do, I am here.
Those of you that can only find cause for complaint or jealousy or whatever negative emotion of the day you choose, I love you too. I am still here for you. I will pray for you, I will lend you my ear, or anything else you need. Honestly, I am not happy with you for how you try to make my wife feel. Like she is doing something wrong, or being a fool. But all I can do is forgive you as I have been forgiven, even though you have not asked for, nor probably even want my forgiveness. It’s yours anyway.
Our danger is to water down God’s word to suit ourselves. God never fits His word to suit me; He fits me to suit His word.