I grew up in Detroit Michigan with hard working parents and one older brother and one older sister. Being the youngest, and the unwanted child, to my mother, I was always and consistently being told I was never good enough, unwanted and unloved; which I believe is when I started to become physically violent. I couldn’t hit her or my father or siblings, so I became physical with any girl or boy I could to take my misery out on. As I got older, the physical violence progressed to drinking in high school and led to even heavier drinking in college. After that, I got married the first time; which was very tumultuous; and had my daughter. That marriage ended due to me being angry all the time, drinking often, and cheating non stop. As the years went by I continued my horrible behavior and met my husband that I am married to now.
Being married to him and moving all over the country due to his military career, and me not having my daughter due to my drinking and anger issues, led to me turning to drugs. I had done drugs in the past, mostly cocaine, but was able to walk away from it. Well, not anymore. Now it was massive amounts of pain pills; up 20 in a 16 hour period of time; and that was everyday. It had started to cause an obvious rift in my marriage. I doctor shopped, ER hopped etc… and was never sober, which meant my husband was having to leave work to take me to doctors and emergency rooms or wherever I needed to go. It ultimately ended up in a few overdoses that he had to take me to the hospital for, which is the point I believe he really began resenting me and regretting having married me. There was nothing but hate all the time between both of us. I turned back to the cocaine to fill the voids of where I couldn’t get the pain pills anymore because of being basically black listed from the local hospitals in our area. That habit was obviously no better than the other, but I just knew I couldn’t survive without some sort of substance to make me happy i.e…alcohol, uppers, downers anything i could get my hands on. I finally went to rehab for 28 days realizing if I didn’t change I would never see my daughter again, be divorced, or ultimately end up dead. I had realized all of my problems were never going to go away until I dealt truly with my demons, SOBER!! After years, I finally did away with the pills and the cocaine.
Then the tide seemed to turn and I was getting better, but my husband was getting worse. All of which rehashed the physical violence and the drinking. After his deep hatred for me, and his behaviors and mine, we finally had a wonderful friend and co-worker of his intervene and take us to church with him one Sunday, and to Scott and Cristy. Its been 10 months since we have been introduced to them, and it is still a growth process every day. We are not now, nor ever will be perfect, but with Scott and Cristy’s help bringing us towards Christ, we now pray together, realize when things are tough get into the Word together, and how to love each other the way God intends. Seeing things through a different perspective and walking with Christ has brought my husband and I to a stronger and much more loving point in our marriage. For the first time in 7 years I finally realized I’m truly and completely in love with my husband! As I said earlier, there are struggles and arguments and always will b,e but for me to learn how to deal with it sober and not with violence is an amazing feeling!! Now issues are dealt with patience, understanding, forgiveness and love. I firmly believe the Lord has worked through Scott and Cristy to save our marriage. His acts of love, grace and mercy were shown to us completely through them. I firmly believe in divine providence now and not “fate”. And for all they have done I will be forever grateful and thankful that God called them to this ministry!!
Married 7 Years