The teachings of Jesus show what characteristics I should be covered in to be Christlike: poor in spirit, mourner, meek, merciful, pure in heart, peacemakers, the persecurted and seeking righteousness. These traits in their purest form are only available through growing in Christ. The “weakness” that Jesus is calling for will result in an outward “strength”. This will come from a deeper dependance on God, resulting in less of “me” showing and more of God. I pray that God will continue to purify me in every way.
The shame of not having other peoples needs ahead of my own is growing unbearable. I have just told my husband that I feel cheated by having to work and not be with the kids, and that it feels like he has been rewarded by getting sick. I don’t want to have ill will like that. It is selfish and does not show unconditional love and acceptance. I have also been carrying frustration from work and allowing it to change my demeanor. I feel as if I am directly under attack, and I have no recourse. I guess that’s what it’s all about … letting God handle it. The “poor in spirit”.
Lord, I do pray for my thoughts and actions to be in correct alignment with you, and for my heart to long for what brings glory to you. I pray for forgiveness for my recent actions with my husband, children and co-workers. Please continue to teach me what it is to be Yours and I pray for You to fill me to the point that “I” am no longer. Amen