Stand firm. That’s the counsel I would offer to someone else in my high heels. Don’t waiver in your faith and don’t change your course when where you’re looking is up. So, either I give horrible advice or I need to listen to it. A friend reminded me today that the growth doesn’t happen on the mountaintop; it happens in the valley. I seek growth all the time. I pray frequently for God to burn away anything within me that isn’t in alignment with Him. I ask for Him to empower me to impact a fallen world for His glory. Every night, I pray for my family to be bound together in unconditional love and unconditional acceptance. I’m not sure why I’m surprised that He is answering me.
There is something that needs to be purged from me still … pride. Not the healthy kind, but the kind that causes me to want to be whatever I can be for everyone else and not receive what others would do for me. When I have accepted help in the past in any capacity, it has always come with a price. Typically what happens is a relationship is lost. I put too much value on people to treat that as “just part of life”. I don’t like owing anyone anything. Yes, I know that means I’m robbing someone else of their blessing; I know the Sunday School answer. What I haven’t learned is how to reconcile when to accept help and when not to. I suppose I keep getting this lesson because I haven’t learned it yet.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. – Galatians 5:22-24
I am so thankful for how much of this fruit I have already received. Some of that fruit has not grown fully mature yet, but because of Christ the seed is in me. Instead of looking at where I lack, I need that constant reminder that I am a much different person that I was. I see the difference daily in Scott. I see the difference daily in my children. And now, I need to learn to release the control I so desperately cling to and instead submit to the crucifixion of my passions and desires. I belong to Christ, and I trust Him to give me what I need … and that includes both correction and deliverance.