It has been a ridiculously busy day. It was like that “I Love Lucy” rerun when Lucy was working on the line at the chocolate factory, stuffing cordial cherries everywhere she could desperately trying to keep up. That was basically the day, minus the enjoyment of the best candy ever created. Whew! I am thankful that the day was full of opportunity.
I now sit in a hotel room, and am working on disconnecting myself from the busyness and concerns of life so that I can become fully focused on God. This is the Warrior Weekend, and it is the second one that Scott and I have had the privilege of participating in. We see a lot of marriages that are quietly enduring the fallout of military life. One spouse who is haunted by a split second decision, the other spouse who is overwhelmed with keeping the home fires burning, and children who don’t understand the ramifications of deployment. It’s the part of serving; the part of war; that is unseen. But just because we don’t see something doesn’t erase it’s validity.
Grateful seems like to small of a word to describe how I feel when I get to have a front row seat watching God’s hand move. It’s amazing to me to see that even in the face of doubt, hurt and anger that He is unshakeable. God is God, always has been and always will be. Even in the midst of the trials of life, He is reaching for us to share our burden with Him through confession, and then ultimately wants to remove it from us altogether.
“Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you. Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Savior, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.” – Psalm 51:7-17
For years in the early days of my walk, I didn’t realize that it was ok to tell God I was angry or disappointed. I thought I was only supposed to talk to God about happy moments when life was going great. That train of thought actually makes no sense at all. If our God wants a close, intimate relationship with us, and His perfect plan is for us to walk with Him so that we can be transformed into His image, then we would be foolish to omit the parts of our life where we are the most pliable.
When metal is forged into a knife, it is heated and beaten over and over in order to strengthen the blade. During the process, especially in the beginning, the metal doesn’t even resemble the end result. But the Metal Smith sees the end result from the beginning, God is forging me, and I am so grateful that He saw the end result long before I was even aware of the beginning.